I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
