So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
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