Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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