Joe is yelling at the trees again.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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