everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
