im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
