Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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