i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
