This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
