ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
