a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
