she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
