how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
