We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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