I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
And then he peed in my hair
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