Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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