I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
