I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
