It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
