everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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