"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
