windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
