sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
