i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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