They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
