You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
