I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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