Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
