We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
