girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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