billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
