he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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