Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
