I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
