Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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