I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
