jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i think im in europe. pls send help
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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