They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
