i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
