I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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