At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Are we still banned from the library?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
