How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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