Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
