Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
