I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
