If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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