i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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