So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
sarcasm needs its own font
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I will be naked everywhere
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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