Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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