That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
