He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
